Thursday, October 1, 2015
Guy riding a bike
Mr. Bike sat in his house thinking about when it was time to go to work. It was his first day and he could not remember what time his shift at subway started! He thought it might be 3:30 or maybe 4:00? It was one of those he was sure. He looked at the clock; 2:40. It's probably better to be early than late right? He hopped on to his bike. His car was wreck in a junkyard by now. He had got in a car crash... That was his fault. How was he supposed to pay attention to every stop light? He drove his bike down the road. One good thing about his bike was that it could go through temple square instead of around it. As he was driveing through he saw a bunch of trans sitting down writing. "Wonder what there doing?" he thought. He smiled at a few who were sitting next to each other. He was about to exit when he remembered something. He felt his pocket. And than the others in turn. Dang it! He thought he turned his bike around and went back.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I LOVED IT! You make me laugh everytime I read anything of yours! It makes me happy, and that's an extra point! ;)
ReplyDeleteThe only thing is that I noticed a couple of little spelling things. So maybe just reading over your writing a second time (I do the same thing... I'm really lazy... ;)). The couple of things I'd name is when you said "Wonder what there doing", the word "there" would be "their". You also said "...he saw a bunch of trans sitting down writing." I don't know what "trans" are! ;)
Thats all! Your writing is always so fun to read!
Idk what trans are ether... it was supposed to be teens. :D
DeleteI really like this one! You can really tell that this guy is sort of a spontaneous/scatterbrained character. I like how you mixed his thoughts with his actions. I noticed that the sentence "It was one of those he was sure" is probably unnecessary. I think you make your point clearly in the previous sentence.
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome! I like how you refer to him as Mr. Bike, and that you brought our class into the story. It might be fun to know a little more about him, like his age and position in his family. It's a really funny story!
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome! I like how you refer to him as Mr. Bike, and that you brought our class into the story. It might be fun to know a little more about him, like his age and position in his family. It's a really funny story!
ReplyDeleteSo funny William. Sadly, I know people exactly this way about responsibility. He reminds me a little of Mr. Skimpole. :) I do think it might be fun to know what he had forgotten.
ReplyDelete