"Deep breath. Stay cool. Try not to look nervous. Just
smile and laugh and she won't know that you're scared out of your mind."
I kept telling myself these things to console myself and
attempt to quiet my racing heart. This was my first date with her, and I REALLY
didn't want to screw it up.
I want to look confident and impressive. Maybe I should take
a small backpack so that I look like a diligent student. Yeah, I'll do that. I
could even tighten the straps a bit so that my chest sticks out and makes me
look ripped! Yes, this will be perfect.
I walk into temple square with my chin up. I was ready. I
look around... She said she would meet me by the north visitors center. Where
was she? "It's ok, don't panic, just stand here and look like you know
exactly what you're doing." I tell myself. "Remember to look
confident."
All of a sudden I turn around and there she is walking right
towards me. She waves at me merrily and her shining hair and beaming face melt
my confidence into a helpless mush at the bottom of my stomach.
Hey! Maybe the guy you saw who was looking for something/someone was looking for the girl I saw who was also looking for someone!! :D I loved it Cassia!
ReplyDeleteWoah... Yeah! Haha! That's would be awesome!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE the word "twitterpated"! You also made me laugh, which is a big plus! ;) I just ADORE the way you write, Cassia! I could totally see you reading through this story, doing actions, facial expressions and all! ;) Your writing is so poetic, though, even when it's not a poem! I love it! :) And I love the way you ended it! :)
ReplyDeleteMy only feedback is to make it a teensy bit longer! ;)
Your descriptions are great. I love the thought processes he goes through...so realistic. Just watch the verb tenses!
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome! I love how he tightens his backpack straps to make himself look ripped. :) Over all, this is very well written. I can really visualize the scene. The only thing I would suggest is to make the first paragraph in present tense since the rest of the story is. :)
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome! I love how he tightens his backpack straps to make himself look ripped. :) Over all, this is very well written. I can really visualize the scene. The only thing I would suggest is to make the first paragraph in present tense since the rest of the story is. :)
ReplyDelete