Running Back's point of view.
I am the Running Back. lined up behind my Quarter Back. I look at the play clock, 1;00 to go. We are down 24 to 28 and on the 50 yard line. Focus on the play. I will run to the left side of the Quarter Back he will pitch it to me and I will just run just out side the pocket and book it as far as I can towards the end-zone.
Wait the ball has been snapped! I run to the left side of the Quarter Back. He pitches I catch it! Thats a start. Ok run to the outside of the pocket. Wait! Theirs a defender there! I cut to the left quickly, That seemed to throw him off. Good. I sprint towards green field. A Corner sprints at me from the right. I fake I cut to the right than sprint left. He jumps at me and try's to trip me up but I stay on my feet. I am right against the sideline now, nothing but open field ahead of me. I dash towered the end-zone. Right from the corner of my right eye I see the safety headed right towered me. I cant cut to the right he'd crush me. He's going to try to push me out of bounds. There's only one option. I lower my shoulder and hit him as hard as I can with it. The impact forces me backwards a little so I spare a glance at my feet. I'm still in bounds! The Safety is on the ground. I sprint with all I have left toward the end-zone. I don't see anybody a head of me. I make it! Yes!
Safety's point of view.
Is everybody In position? Look's like it. We just have to stop these guy's for one minute. He snapped the ball! The play is on. He pitches it to the running back. Look's like he's headed for the left side of the pocket. Yes! We have a guy there! No! He just cut to the out side. Micky our corner is chasing him down. The runner try's to juke him and halfway succeed's. Micky jumps at his legs will he trip him? The runner shakes him of. It's up to me now! I dash towered him! I just have to push him out. BAM! Ouch. What just happened... I look towered the end-zone. No! Touchdown. Crud!
Yep... I'm not really good at football terms! ;) I didn't completely understand it, but I loved the way it was written! The action really drew me in! I think my only feedback would be to make it maybe a teensy bit more understandable! ;) I'm sure someone who knew about football would understand what you were saying, though! :D
ReplyDeleteWilliam, I love this. I can tell that you can really picture these events in your mind to be able to describe them in such detail. A sports event is a great idea for portraying from two different points of view, since one person's win is the other's loss. If you were to rewrite this (which you don't need to), I think the best thing would be to try to make the two people sound more different from each other--give them a different voice. Once we work on characters, that will get easier, I think, so this is great work!
ReplyDeleteWilliam, I love this. I can tell that you can really picture these events in your mind to be able to describe them in such detail. A sports event is a great idea for portraying from two different points of view, since one person's win is the other's loss. If you were to rewrite this (which you don't need to), I think the best thing would be to try to make the two people sound more different from each other--give them a different voice. Once we work on characters, that will get easier, I think, so this is great work!
ReplyDelete